Terrible Twos - Toddler Tantrums

article by
Valerie Powers
from the Orlando Early Childhood Parenting Examiner

Recently, a celebrity likened having a toddler, to being around a "miniature drunk," all of the time. He was spot on with that assessment, because it is true. Irrational, clingy, boisterous, irresponsible and stumbling into things; this describes toddlerhood. 24/7. You can also expect odd behaviors such as undressing, undiapering (ick!), yelling, hitting...the list of naughtiness really is limitless. Sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's stressful. How you cope with this time, well, that's another thing.
Parents should know that the dreaded "terrible twos" are actually completely normal developmentally, for your child. Dr. Greene, a renowned pediatrician, says that children at this age are still learning to make appropriate choices. And by limiting some of their options; you will curb some (not all) of their tantrums. Frequently, these outbursts of unruly behavior are caused by your toddler's inability to articulate themselves; they grow frustrated and react boldly.
Something to keep in mind, is that this "terrible" time can extend into age three (or it can commence before age two). Here are some tips for curtailing tantrums and unruly behavior:

• Set a routine each day, and stick to it - this gives your toddler some normalcy
• Limit sugary snacks and offer up healthy foods to keep blood sugar regulated
• Offer limited choices for each quandary; this eliminates some arguing
• Set limits, and be prepared to offer up consequences when these limits are pushed (such as implementing a time-out or toy removal policy)
• Toddler-proof your environment to avoid scuffles

Now is the time to really connect with your little one and focus on building communication skills. Some folks insist that Baby Sign Language, is the key to building your child's vocabulary, emotional and intellectual development. Additionally, proponents of Baby Sign Language tout the benefits of BSL helping to eliminate tantrums; it is said that the improved communication between parent/baby will enhance relationships.
If you find yourself in the throes of a tantrum, experts recommend that you remain calm. Refrain from yelling and getting visibly upset. It is said parents should be consistent with their reactions to their toddler's tantrums and behavior; this helps calm your toddler down. For those of you coping with a toddler that was born prematurely; know that your wee one will still go through this phase at some point - it will just probably be delayed depending upon your child's corrected age.

Parents should go easy on their toddler during this tumultuous time; remember that your wee one is mastering skills such as: coordination, eating independently, dressing, potty-training and more. That is a lot for a little person to cope with, so be patient.
Be sure to give yourself a break - and your toddler, too. Send your child to visit grandparents for the weekend, and take the time to relax and get rejuvenated. Toddlers also crave a change of pace and scenery, so an occasional break for each of you is definitely a healthy bet. And remember: toddlerhood is just a stage of development, so embrace the goodness that comes along with it, too...before it's long gone!


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Maternity Acupressure - Naturally Induce Labor

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Article by
by Jessica Hudson

Labor Inducing Eggplant Parmesan

One of the methods of self-inducing labor that's been sweeping the internet in recent years is the myth that eggplant will start labor. This maternity myth started when a news story began circulating about a restaurant in Georgia named Scalini's. Apparently the mothers of over 300 babies have gone into labor in the past 23 years, within 48 hours of eating the eggplant parmegiana.
The funny part is, it may just be that the dish causes the women to go into labor, but it's not the eggplant. The herbs Oregano and Basil have properties that may cause contractions, though it is not yet known how or in what quantities. This is why, in aromatherapy circles, these herbs and essential oils are to be avoided whenever possible during pregnancy.

Sex to Induce Labor

Semen contains prostaglandins. Prostaglandins cause the cervix to "ripen", or soften and prepare to open. While it is debatable whether there are enough prostaglandins in semen to have any real effect, it is not a terrible way to keep hope alive and while away the last weeks of your pregnancy. Another great side effect is the fact that orgasms produce oxytocin, the hormone that causes contractions. So, between the two, there is a pretty good case for the cure for pregnancy.

Evening Primrose Oil and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea

Neither will actually induce labor. While some lay midwives will argue that statement about the Evening Primrose, which is the reason it is not recommended until 36 weeks or "full term", almost all sources with experience agree that it does nothing that the body was not ready to do on its own. I will repeat this at the end of this section, to make sure you understand this, as there is a lot of confusion and misconception surrounding these two substances.
Evening primrose oil is an excellent source of prostaglandins, which we already determined readies your cervix for labor. It can be taken orally as soon as 34 weeks, and can be applied directly to the cervix at full term (36 weeks). The general recommendation is two 500mg capsules per day until week 38, at which time you increase to 3-4 per day. The entire capsule can be inserted vaginally (inserted just before bed, it will dissolve before the first time you wake to use the bathroom), or you can use the oil on your fingers for your perineal massage, then also rub on your cervix (assuming you can reach it). Applying directly to the cervix is optimal, but the beneficial ingredients are absorbed through the external skin or the stomach also.
Red raspberry leaf tea is a uterine tonic used by Native Americans for thousands of years. It tones your uterus by helping to "focus" your Braxton Hicks contractions. Think of its job as helping your uterus do more effective exercising while you are pregnant. It does not "cause" contractions and can be safely used throughout pregnancy. It is contraindicated for those having complications "just in case", however, by most doctors who do not understand its use. Many women safely use it from the moment they learn they are pregnant at six weeks until months after delivery. (It helps to tone the uterus after delivery as well, shrinking it back to size more quickly and reducing bleeding.)
Again, neither of these actually causes labor to start!

Castor Oil to Bring on Labor

First let me just say that I do not recommend this method. That is because I used it with my second child and it was just about the most horrible mistake I could have made (other than maybe getting another epidural, anyway).
The theory behind this induction method is that the castor oil causes diarrhea and the diarrheal cramps cause sympathetic cramping in your uterus, another smooth muscle. This is another of the methods that "won't work if you're not already ready anyway", as the sympathetic cramping will be ineffectual if all conditions are not already optimal for labor. In my case, my contractions began 10 minutes after my first dose of oil, hours before the diarrhea began. Therefore, it could not have been the castor oil that brought on labor in my case, and I caused myself all that trouble for nothing.
There has been much debate over whether taking castor oil to induce labor will cause the baby to have its first bowel movement in the womb before birth. This pre-birth bowel movement, called meconium, can be dangerous, because if baby inhales some of it it can cause pneumonia in the lungs. Meconium is also a widely-held signal that the baby is in some sort of distress. Most professionals with any experience with castor oil inductions agree that this is untrue. They have found that there is no increased occurrence of meconium in castor oil induced labors over spontaneous labors.
The real danger lies in the mother when using castor oil for labor induction. With the severity of the diarrhea, a laboring woman can quickly become dehydrated. Especially in a typically highly managed hospital birth where a woman is allowed few fluids. Dehydration makes one tired and less able to endure through physical activity. Plus, not only does this endanger breastfeeding (proper hydration is necessary to make adequate milk), but a dehydrated uterus is an aggravated uterus, and an aggravated uterus causes more pain for the mother. More pain makes a woman less able to handle natural child birth and puts her and the baby at increased risk for a snowball of interventions.

Nipple Stimulation to Self-induce

This is a practice often recommended by midwives when a woman is long past due or when labor is stalled. Nipple stimulation causes the release of oxytocin, the same hormone that causes uterine contractions. Many women report, however, that the contractions produced from this method are much stronger and more painful than natural labor, but are not any more effective. Please note: In order to use this method for induction, you must stimulate the nipples for long periods of time. The usual recommendation is 15 minutes of continual stimulation on each nipple each hour for several hours. So, the amount of stimulation you may experience during intimacy, while nursing an older child, or while pumping your breasts while pregnant will not cause you to go into labor. The general recommendation on these activities is to abstain from them when your condition warrants doctor recommended pelvic rest. Please check with your practitioner before trying this.

Acupressure/Acupuncture for Inducing or Augmenting Labor
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There are two points on your body that will cause uterine contractions. They are always warned against during pregnancy, though they are widely believed to be another labor inducing method that will not work if you are not already ready to deliver. These points are about four finger-widths above the inner ankle on your calf, and in the webbing between your thumb and forefinger. You will know when you've found the spot because it will be very sore. You rub your calf, or pinch the webbing on your hand, in a circular motion for 30-60 second at a time, taking 1-2 minute breaks in between.
Stripping Membranes

There is a procedure your doctor or midwife can perform called "stripping" or "sweeping" your membranes. The healthcare professional will insert their finger(s) into your cervix and sweep from side to side, pulling the membranes (bag of water) away from the mouth of the cervix and the lower uterus, and in the process stretching and irritating your cervix. Sometimes this will generate local production of prostaglandins and enough of the necessary hormones to start labor. Sometimes it takes 3 or 4 attempts to begin labor. Many women find this to be a very uncomfortable, if not painful, procedure. This is a medical intervention and should be taken as seriously as any medical induction method.

Herbs and Homeopathic Remedies
All substances that would fall in this category, such as Blue and Black Cohosh are general considered to be as unsafe as medical interventions, and if they are to be used must be used only under the recommendation and supervision of your doctor or midwife.



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Ten tips to Successful Parenting

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Article from positiveparenting.com
It is important that we discipline in a way that teaches responsibility by motivating our children internally, to build their self-esteem and make them feel loved. If our children are disciplined in this respect, they will not have a need to turn to gangs, drugs, or sex to feel powerful or belong.
The following ten tips will help parents use methods that have been proven to provide children with a sense of well-being and security.
1 - Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)
Your child's self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time you spend with him-not the amount of time that you spend. With our busy lives, we are often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100% focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen or ignore our child's attempts to communicate with us. If we don't give our child GEMS throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child's mind is better than being ignored.
It is also important to recognize that feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. So when your child says to you, "Mommy, you never spend time with me" (even though you just played with her) she is expressing what she feels. It is best at these times just to validate her feelings by saying, "Yeah, I bet it does feel like a long time since we spent time together."
2 - Use Action, Not Words
Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No wonder our children become "parent deaf!" Instead of nagging or yelling, ask yourself, "What action could I take?" For example, if you have nagged your child about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are unrolled. Action speaks louder than words.
3 - Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful
If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.
4 - Use Natural Consequences
Ask yourself what would happen if I didn't interfere in this situation? If we interfere when we don't need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions. By allowing consequences to do the talking, we avoid disturbing our relationships by nagging or reminding too much. For example, if your child forgets her lunch, you don't bring it to her. Allow her to find a solution and learn the importance of remembering.
5 - Use Logical Consequences
Often the consequences are too far in the future to practically use a natural consequence. When that is the case, logical consequences are effective. A consequence for the child must be logically related to the behavior in order for it to work. For example, if your child forgets to return his video and you ground him for a week, that punishment will only create resentment within your child. However, if you return the video for him and either deduct the amount from his allowance or allow him to work off the money owed, then your child can see the logic to your discipline.
6 - Withdraw from Conflict
If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat.
7 - Seperate the Deed from the Doer
Never tell a child that he is bad. That tears at his self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn't that you don't like him, but it is his behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him. When in doubt, ask yourself, did my discipline build my child's self-esteem?
8 - Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time
Suppose you have told your five-year-old child that if she isn't dressed by the time the timer goes off, you will pick her up and take her to the car. She has been told she can either get dressed either in the car or at school. Make sure that you are loving when you pick her up, yet firm by picking her up as soon as the timer goes off without any more nagging. If in doubt, ask yourself, did I motivate through love or fear?
9 - Parent with the End in Mind
Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. We are looking for the expedient solution. This often results in children who feel overpowered. But if we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. For example, if we spank our child, he will learn to use acts of aggression to get what he wants when he grows up.
10 - Be Consistent, Follow Through
If you have made an agreement that your child cannot buy candy when she gets to the store, do not give in to her pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.
This document is produced by the International Network for Children and Families and the 350 instructors of the "Redirecting Children's Behavior" course.

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Family Day

Yesterday we had a wonderful family day. I have decided that I would take Tuesdays off for the summer and use some vacation days since I have no plans for a vacation. My husbands only night off is Tuesday so this allows us to be able to plan anything and take day trips without having to be back by a certain time.

Yesterday we went for a wonderful hike to Cascade Falls. Unfortunately we did not make it all the way due to the hot dirt on our dogs poor little paws. But we will being going again one evening. We planned a great dinner that consisted of grilled zucinni and yellow squash from the farmers market. BBQ'd Rosemary lemon chicken, new potatoes cooked in foil on the grill with garlic, olive oil and rosemary. This dinner was so good. The kids really liked the grilled vegetables. I will definitely make this again.

Updates

On this blog I will be posting articles and great deals for some great parenting e-books. I have posted one about Maternity Acupressure that I thought was very interesting because I am pregnant and thought it might help others that are pregnant.
I also posted a great ebook on communicating with your baby, toddler, teen and so on. It give very helpful parenting tips on being a positive parent and communicating in an effective way.
Check them out.

On another note, I have started to try and be more health concious with the kids. Usually when I get home from working my 7 and a half hour shift I just want to come home and put my feet up. Eat whatever is super easy and let the kids watch TV.
Well this is week one. We have been on a walk two days this week. Boy do my feet hurt. The kids are signed up for swim lessons. They do not start until 6:35. It is a painful 3 and a half hours from when I get home from work until we leave because my 3 year old has no patience. He bugs me constantly about leaving and whines so much about how we are never going to go.
I have bought lots of fruit. The kids have already eaten almost a whole half of a watermelon. So they really enjoy having the fruit and stuff for snacks. I think I will make juice pops for the summer.
For breakfast we did watermelon, eggs and a half of a bagel. It was pretty good.
Just a tip for all you pregnant moms out there I heard that watermelon is very good at helping with morning sickness. Just a tip. Let me know if it helps you. I still occasionally get morning sickness so I will have to try it next time I get it.
Thanks for reading my posts and I look forward to more.

Maternity Acupressure

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Easier, Shorter And Safer Birth

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The Beginning

I am a mother of a six year old girl and a three year old boy and I am seven months pregnant. As any mother can relate. Parenting is not always bliss. There are constant struggles with daily life. I work a full time job and go to school. My husband and I work separate shifts so we rarely see each other. I feel like a single mom much of the time. My kids can drive me crazy one minute and the next be the sweetest things on earth. I wouldn't change my life for anything.
I wanted to start this blog to help me write about my days and get some frusterations out. Maybe some of you can relate. I would love feedback and advice from anybody. I also hope to get articles and products on here that will help other parents with their daily struggles, concerns and so on.