Monday, April 26, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Sorry I ramble a little in this post.
I recently came across this article. Discipline Versus Punishment It really interested me because I have been having a lot of trouble disciplining my children. Particularly my 4 year old. He has problems following the rules at home and at school. He can be the greatest sweetest kid but he can also be obnoxious and run all over the place and not follow directions. When I try to talk to him or tell him to stop doing a certain behavior he starts laughing at me and acts worse so then I get angry and thump him in the head or yell. I know he is not a bad child, I'm sure pushing his boundaries. Scaring him with my anger does not help. He thinks it is hilarious and thinks it is funny to watch me get angrier and angrier. My daughter does the same thing sometimes too. It drives me CRAZY. I try to handle things calmly but it is a little hard to keep your cool when you are trying to get them to do something and they are running away from you laughing. Time out does not work, taking things away does not work. I am trying to be consistent. I am so tired. I'm home by myself with them all the time. They try to bargain with me and make deals. For example if you let me read one more book, or watch icarly for a 1/2 hour I PROMISE I will go to bed right away. So I give in say OK and then a half later the bed time struggle begins. The tantrums, the crying, the not wanting to give me a kiss goodnight because I am such a mean mommy. Then I am all angry and go to bed regretting the interactions between me and my kids. SUPER NANNY I NEED YOU. You make it look so easy. In the article it says
discipline-based parenting works better at changing a child's behavior and bringing about long-term results. Punishment-based parenting causes more immediate results in behavior but the motivation is temporary. It can also hurt a child's self-esteem and create feelings of anger or insecurity.
This interested me because I do not want to screw up my kids because of the way I parent and the way I am not always in control of my own self.