Thursday, October 7, 2010

My Kids Are Out of Control, HELP!

Are there any other moms out there that can help me with this?

My husband and I work opposite schedules. I work days and he works nights. I leave for work at 7:45 in the morning so my husband gets to do all the getting ready for school and taking the baby and two children to school. I get calls after he drops them off that the kids were fighting and biting all morning.  I have them pick out their clothes for school the night before and lay them out. I have to approve them of course. So when my husband tells me that my daughter went to school again in a skirt with shoes that require no socks. I am annoyed at my daughter once again. It is 40 degrees outside and raining. I just told her yesterday she needs to wear socks to school or I will take tickets out of her jar, a reward system we use. When I pick them up from school my husband leaves for work. We barely have a chance to talk. When I ask my husband what he does for discipline he says he separates them and tells them to stop. He does not use any of the positive reinforcement I tell him to use or the reward system I set up.

If they are caught being good they get a ticket. If they do something without being told they get 4 tickets. If we tell them to do something and they do it the first time being asked they get 3 tickets for each time they are asked it is one less ticket. If we have to keep asking they owe tickets. Fighting they have to give a ticket. They can buy things with their tickets. For example, 20 tickets is a Slurpee or an ice cream.

They act a little better for me but do not do what they are told most of the time. I have to ask a bunch of times to get anything done.  I feel like I am constantly struggling with them. My 4 year old gets really stubborn and does things on purpose just to make me angrier. My 7 year old just does what she wants. The reward system seems to not work anymore. I wish my husband and I could be consistent with the discipline but we are never together for me to show an example of how it works. I try to explain to him but he doesn't listen fully. I love my kids so much but lately I feel extremely frustrated.