Friday, May 21, 2010

FORECAST - Crazy Kids

When I used to work at schools and in Sunday school for church. I used to deal with these boys that were totally obnoxious and I used to think I will NEVER have a child like that.  That is until my boy came along and turned 4. Please do not get me wrong. He is a good boy. He is a complete sweetheart. But OH MY GOODNESS does he have the most energy ever. My couch cushions get a daily beating. He climbs the walls, literally. He knows what annoys you and likes to push your buttons and laughs every bit of the way.
My 7 month old is my favorite right now. She is excited to see me when I get home from work. She doesn’t yell at me, well except for if I am not feeding her fast enough. I have never heard a baby scream like that. Although even she is going through a faze of not wanting to sleep EVER! And I swear, my oldest is 6 going on 16. She has the total teenager attitude and is so bossy. I often wonder if she is like this now what am I in for in 10 years. She is so dramatic, everything is a big deal. I always pictured myself enjoying parenthood but lately not so much. I am tired and worn out. It is three against one. The one thing that gives me hope is all the comments I read on a recent blog post from one of my favorite blogs to read. Scary Mommy, she posted her kids were driving her crazy and there was about 50 comments from moms saying the same thing. So hopefully it is something in the air, the stars or whatever and this will pass. 

Thursday, May 6, 2010

You Know You’re a Mom When…

Happy Mother's Day!

You Know You’re a Mom When…

…you leave the house with out knowing you have spit up running down your back.
…your kids are in bed and you have a chance to watch some tv and find yourself watching an episode of icarly you have not seen yet.
…you sing “Dora Dora Dora the Explorer” in the shower.

…you sing to the Elmo CD that is playing on your radio long after you’ve dropped your children off at daycare.

…you can’t wait to hug your own kids after you see something troubling on the news.

…you lick your finger to wipe your child’s face.
…you reach into your pocket and pull out a crayon, a matchbox car and a dirty sock.

…you have no issues sniffing another child’s butt for a poopie diaper.

…you think yourself lucky to get out of the house without a visible  spit-up

…a packet of crisps (chips), and a diet coke is considered a hearty breakfast.

…you count the days until your next girl’s night.

…your purse contains packages of Pepperage farm goldfish, a juice box, assorted wrappers and a binky.

…you give up your cool car for a minivan, and within a few weeks, you really start to like the van, and use phrases like “It’s just so convenient.” 
…you memorize and juggle more schedules and activities than American Airlines, and when people ask you where you live, you say, “In a tan minivan on I-95
…you ask where “the potty” is.

…you look through family pictures, and realize there aren’t very many of you, because you are always behind the camera.

… “whine” is no longer simply red or white.

…when people ask you what you do, you tell them you are a “pediatric logistics specialist”!

…sleeping in means… sleeping IN the middle of three little bodies!!!

…you’d rather listen to your 6 year old’s music than your own.

…when you walk into another room in your house to get something and by the time
you get there you forget what you were going to get.
…you hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!" 

…you go to sleep with 2 people in bed wake up with three (or four or five:)
….you stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
…you hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids. 

…you hide in the bathroom to be alone.

…your kid throws up and you catch it.

…someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

…you've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.

…you hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.

…you can talk on the phone, pack a lunch & breast feed all once.

…you spend an entire week wearing sweats.

…you say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.
…you get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet . . . you still managed to gain 10 pounds.
…when your toddler hands you a half chewed cookie, full of slobber to eat and you do it!

…you find Goldfish crackers in the glove box of your car.

…you wipe other kids' noses.

…you have caught spit-up in your hand.

…you leave for a date with your husband carrying a diaper bag instead of your purse.

…you have memorized the entire lineup of Saturday morning cartoons.

…you have finally paid for all of your groceries and are heading out of the doors when you realize one of your kids has lost a shoe somewhere in the store.

…you can recite Goodnight Moon and Green Eggs and Ham by heart.

…you silently curse people if they call during naptime.

…you are just as surprised when you sleep through the night as when your child does.

…when you are considered “child’s name’s” mom and not your own name.

…you find yourself humming the "Rubber Duckie" song in the shower.

…you cry at Johnson & Johnson commercials.

…you have considered trading your whole life savings for just one good night of sleep.

…you see your parents in a whole new light.

…you start the car and the volume of the radio blows you through the roof.

…a "girls night" includes 5 giggling 9 year old girls listening to Justin Bieber and watching High School Musical movies (and you're looking forward to it)

…your favorite luxury is to be able to go to the bathroom by yourself (without someone banging on the door).

…your shirt doubles as a tissue.

…you consider parenting be the best job in the world.

…the "5 second rule" becomes a thing of the past & you just wonder when was
the last time you mopped when your child drops food and eats it.

…you know more lyrics to cartoons and kids songs then you do on the top 40's chart