Tuesday, November 3, 2009
To Discipline or not to Discipline
I was just reading an article about spanking your child in public when they are misbehaving.
It is really tough in this day and age. People are so judgmental, they look at you and criticize when they do not even know the whole situation. Most of them are not parents themselves or else they would not be judging or criticizing. I know when I am out and I see a child acting out, I am so thankful because then I know that I am not the only mom who has a child that acts like that. I also feel a little comforted in the fact that I am not the only mom who goes through it. Okay and so the thought also crosses my mind, "I'm glad it's not mine." How many of you parents have ever said that when you see a child throwing a full blown temper tantrum? Why is it when another child is throwing a temper tantrum it does not seem as bad as a situation as when it is your child? It is because you are not emotionally involved and suffering the eyes and ridicule that is being placed upon you.
Okay so back to the question. Is it okay to spank your child?
Spanking is a form of discipline to place on your child. People view it as beating your child. They get Child Protection Services on the phone in a heart beat. Some people have had there children taken away for spanking them.
To go further from spanking, what about those people that butt in at the store when you are yelling at your child. Has America become that we are not allowed to discipline our children. I understand verbally abusing your child is not okay, but telling your child that they are not behaving and if they do not straighten up then they will be going to bed early to night, or what ever type of punishment you give your child. I think that is totally okay. Sometimes the situation is that you have been in Walmart for way to long dealing with the crowded isles and rude people, while the whole time listening to your child whine and throw little tantrums, when finally you have come to your whits end.
If we do not discipline our children what type of children do they become. Some feel that they just want to be there child's best friend and think they should learn discipline elsewhere. When I was at work the other day, my co-worker mentioned that there were some things she did not teach her child or talk about with him because she did not want to go there and was hoping that he learned it at school. One of the topics was sex education, another one was cheating.
Maybe some parents don't want to think of there children of doing anything bad so they do not want to talk to them about it. I was watching an episode of Wife Swap and this lady had 4 boys that where completely disrespectful, wild and misbehaved any where they went. The parents said they never wanted to see there kids unhappy so they let them do what ever they wanted and never wanted to punish them.
So many children act as though they can do anything and are so disrespectful of there teachers and other adults. When I was a child we only called adults by there last name. (Mrs. or Mr. Smith, for example). My kids preschool teachers have them call them by first name. It bugs my dad and he tries to in force to my children that grown ups are Mr. or Mrs.
Many parents just want to be there child's best friend. They do not take responsibility for their child's actions. I do not agree with spanking your child but I do think they need to know that there are consequences to their actions and it is important to follow through. I do have to admit there have been times when spanking has crossed my mind and a good thump ends up happening.
I hate when I hear a parent making threats constantly and not following through. "If you don't stop you are going to be put in time out." So you say that to your child about 10 times while they are doing the action. They are going to know that mom/dad doesn't follow through and they are just talking, so whatever.
Kids need routine, they need structure, they need guidelines. The discipline does not have to be spanking, yelling or any kind of negative punishment. There are alternatives. I believe they need to be able to make choices and they are accountable for their choices. If they do not want to clean their room explain to them that they have a choice. They can clean their room or they can choose to not watch TV later on in the evening. If they do not clean their room explain to them that they made the choice to not watch TV and they need to find something else to do. Positive discipline is important. Using reward charts for good behavior. Praising your child when they are doing things you want them to do. If you focus all your energy on their bad behavior and never praise them when they are behaving and doing good things they will think you do not care about the good behavior. Children want your attention whether it is positive or negative.
I would love feed back on this topic. Please leave comments.
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